Still The Same (Bob Seger - 1978)

"The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.” ~ Marcelene Cox

Having a little bit of time before having to pick-up Lauren from dance class, Elizabeth stopped into a local retailer. She soon found herself at the sunglasses display with not one but two twenty-something sales girls attending to her.

With each pair of sunglasses Elizabeth tried on she received varying levels of approval from Sales Girl #1 and #2, amazingly mirroring Elizabeth's every comment or facial expression.

"Those look good. I saw Angela Jolie with a pair just like them." said Sales Girl #1, referring to a pair of black oversized designer sunglasses Elizabeth was trying on.

"Don't you think they are too wide for my face?" Elizabeth responded.

"Yeah, maybe like a little too big for your face." said Sales Girl #1, shaking her head.

"What about these?" Elizabeth said trying on a pair of light beige framed and brown lensed glasses.

"Ooh, I like those a lot . . ." said Sales Girl #2.

"I don't like the the color." Elizabeth interjected.

"I was going to say, except for the color. Yeah, definitely do not like the color." said Sales Girl #2.

This went on as Elizabeth continued trying on glasses either chosen personally or by the sales girls, discarding those she already tried, onto the glass countertop. She had gone through nearly a dozen sunglasses, when she picked-up an Izod two toned brown lensed pair, looked in the mirror and said "I like the black and brown two-tone."

"Oh, those are cool! Yeah, two tone. They look fantastic on you!" said Sales Girl #2.

"Do you think?" said Elizabeth.

"Love them!" said Sales Girl #2.

Sales Girl #1 adding, "Oh yeah.  Like they are so you."

Elizabeth looked in the mirror and agreed, they did look good. She took them off to look at the price, but there was no tag. Upon further inspection she noticed a small scratch on the frame.

She wasn't concerned, the glasses were generally priced the same, and the scratch was not a show stopper. Elizabeth showed the scratch to the sales girls and being half Italian, asked if they might take a percentage off because of the damage.

Sales Girl #2 was game, "Yeah maybe. Let me ask my manager." She paged her manager overhead and as quick as you can say "Discount Designer Sunglasses, Great Choices for Under $100," the manager was at the sunglasses display rack.

Elizabeth with the backing of the sales girls asked for an additional discount due to the scratch. The boss woman studied the glasses and said, "These are not our glasses. We don't sell Izod. Someone must have switched them."

Sales Girl #2 gasped. 

Sales Girl #1 stood speechless, her mouth open before temporarily closing it to whisper, "We've been scammed."

Elizabeth was also surprised. Surprised she had been touched by an apparent crime, but also that the Store Manager said they didn't sell Izod sunglasses.

"You do sell Izod. I bought a pair here before." Elizabeth said.

"If we did, we have not sold them for a long time." said the Sales Manager.

While the Sales Manager chastised Sales Girl #1 and #2 for not keeping a closer eye on the store merchandise, reminding them that they were not to remove the tags on the glasses when customers are trying them on, a horrifying thought entered Elizabeth's mind.

She rummaged through her bag in search of something. It was not there. She looked again, double checking all pockets. It definitely was not there; her worst fear materialized.

Interrupting the Sales Manager she said, "Oh, you know what?. . . Those are my sunglasses."

"Excuse me?" said the Sales Manager.

Chuckling, Elizabeth said, "The Izod sunglasses are mine. I bought them here awhile back."

"There like yours?" said Sales Girl #2.

"Yes." said Elizabeth, now laughing. "They are mine."

"Oh my God." whispered Sales Girl #1.

Elizabeth had just tried to purchase her own sunglasses. She wore them into the store on her head and must have placed them on the counter, mixing them with the store owned sunglasses. Elizabeth failed to recognize her own glasses, and the sales girls and manager failed to recognize the humor.

It was time to go pick-up Lauren. Elizabeth left with her really cool, two tone, Izod shades. And she didn't have to pay a dime for them.

"Same as it ever was. . . same as it ever was . . . " ~ Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime