To Elizabeth's chagrin, it seems that many of our family's most memorable quotes have to do with watery feces and the death of a hamster.
For those of you who are on our Holiday mailing list -- Surprise! This post will beat the mailing.
WARNING: Many of the quotes in the letter (and hence this post) have been taken from previous blog postings. So sorry Charlie, for the most part my friends and family don't read my blog. This is all new material to them. My apologies to those who read regularly.
The Year in Quotes
“Lulu” (Lucille - 0.65 pi )“How rude [insert name]”-
catch phrase from Full House reruns, taught to her by Jessie, Sophie (Au Pair), and the Olsen twins (her parents were thrilled).“’izza”-
answering the question of whether she wants pancakes or a bagel.“Scarecrow ‘cary.”
“Mine.”
“Candy please.”
“I have ‘rhea?”-
diarrhea ('it happens)“Jessie mean to me.”
“Sud’ly I See”- r
equesting her favorite song (by K.T. Tunstall).
“Lulu make mess.”-
said with great pride.
“We will, we will, rock you.”-
in car seat singing chorus to Queen’s arena rock anthem (parents have no idea where she learned this).“Santa ‘cary.”
“Cookie sleeping.”-
pointing to Cookie the dead hamster, wrapped in a paper towel, awaiting burial on a shelf in the garage.
“Jessie” (Jessica - 2.02 pi)“I have no idea . . . I just know it’s going to be Bucknell or Notre Dame.”-
responding to the question of where she is going to college.“Because I was borned in English, I know it really much.”-
touting her mastery of her native tongue to our French Au Pair.“What animal does chicken come from?”-
demonstrating early signs of brilliance.“I’m a light to dark sleeper.”-
on her sleeping habits. “I know the ‘f’ word.”-
learning moments later “suck up” doesn’t begin with the letter “f.”“I only got an inch of sleep last night.”-
explaining why she was grumpy.“I can sometimes write Chinese words.”-
on whether she had any “hidden talents.”“No, it was pee. I pee’d out of my butt.”-
answering the question of whether she had ‘rhea.“It’s alright to cry, it lets the sadness out.”-
on why it was okay for her friend to cry.“I had golf today, but I didn’t go. Because I didn’t have it.”-
explaining her whereabouts to a friend (after being taken to a lesson on the wrong day).“We couldn’t understand them, they sang in Jewish.”-
telling about the lighting of the “Lenora” at our neighbor’s Hanukkah celebration. “What? Cookie died!?[wailing]”-
reacting to the news that her sister’s pet hamster was recently buried in the backyard.
“Lauren” (Lauren - 3.80 pi)
“Is SpongeBob a kid or a man?”-
one of her more thought provoking questions of the year. “I’m sorry, I’m just kinda scared of the outside.”-
addressing why she wasn’t venturing out of our summer rental.“A hamster. I wished for a hamster.”-
sharing her birthday wish.“Hi Baby! You’re so cute, give me a hug. Ouch! Lulu don’t hit! Mom! Dad! Lulu hit me!”-
victim of sibling abuse.
“Oh my God, I’m the Boy.”-
reacting to reading online she was cast as the Boy in a dance production of The Polar Express.
“What are you wearing?”-
questioning her Dad’s attire before entering a public place.
“No, I’ll throw up.”-
on why she won’t put her hands in the pumpkin.“I slept on my eyelid wrong.”-
an honest-to-God injury. “It doesn’t hurt . . . except when I swallow.”-
working to avoid going to the doctor for a sore throat.“Ohhhh, you buried Cookie yesterday. Okay, I thought you said you buried a cookie yesterday.”-
seemingly relieved that we didn’t bury a cookie in the backyard, just her hamster.
“Mom”(Elizabeth - 13.51 pi)
“When is the last time [insert dirty child’s name] got a bath?”-
daily question for her husband.
“Have you seen my Blackberry charger?”-
twice-weekly question for her husband.“I’m worried my shorts won’t fit me. I’ve been drinking milkshakes.”- c
onfessing while packing for summer vacation.
“Does Lauren have an e-mail? Give it to me. I have some things I can start e-mailing her, like don’t leave M&Ms on your floor.”-
Mom embracing technology.
“Did we get the [mausoleum] paperwork?” -
asked in the middle of a romantic interlude (with her husband - of course).
“You are kidding, right?”-
reacting to being told “I think we’re out of gas” by her husband (note: it was a rental car, and really could have happened to anyone . . . who believes “E” is only a state of mind).“Who is Cookie?”-
response when told Cookie died.
“Oz,” The Great and Powerful (Jack - 13.69 pi)
“Can you pick something up for dinner?”-
thrice-weekly question for his wife.
“If we can’t read Green Eggs and Ham without you crying . . . we’re not going to read it at all.”-
banning the fourth best-selling children’s book of all-time, after a disagreement with Jessie over the name of one of the book’s characters (note: the ban was later lifted).“Mom’s bank has been sold and we need to move to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.”-
playing April Fools joke on Lauren (not so funny months later when “Mom’s bank” was actually sold).“They [stay-at-home Moms] look at me as one of the girls.”-
quote when interviewed for article on our family and being a stay-at-home Dad (thank God it wasn’t used).
“Hi! I can’t find my car. What do we do?”- s
peaking to the driver of the “Parking Lot Assistance” van at O’Hare Airport in Parking Lot E.“I’m the idiot who just left without my food.”-
returning to KenTaco Hut drive-thru twenty minutes after paying. “Make sure you tell them you dressed yourself today!”-
yelling to Jessie as she leaves to play next door in an absurd ensemble of clothing.“Is anyone here a fan of the Anise cookie?”-
dogging the homemade holiday Anise cookie (later learning it’s an Italian thing).
"Buck" (Buckingham - 4.94 pi)
“Don’t tase me, Bro.”- pleading after being caught on the kitchen table.
“I don’t recall.”- repeated response to questioning on whether he ate Lulu’s [insert food item].
“There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, and a verb and Notre Dame.”- deriding Jack’s favorite topic of conversation.
“I have a wide stance when going to the bathroom.”- explaining why his paw tapped that of a neighboring dog while at the kennel.
“I did not use steroids, or any performance enhancing dog treats.”- responding to the release of the Mitchell Report.
“That’s some nappy-headed hamster there.”- commenting on the new pet hamster (really not surprising seeing that Cookie did nap a lot).
“Lulu” (Lucille - 0.65 pi )
“Jessie” (Jessica - 2.02 pi)
“Lauren” (Lauren - 3.80 pi) 
“Mom”(Elizabeth - 13.51 pi) 
“Oz,” The Great and Powerful (Jack - 13.69 pi) 
"Buck" (Buckingham - 4.94 pi) 
